Yum
by Anne-Marie
Summary: In a challenge to prove that not all J/S plots have been used up, a romance is set up in the thrilling set up of the Digestive System. Gaurenteed to be unlike anything else you have ever read!


A sort of tribute to Kafka's Metamorphisis (it really is that bizzare) and totally and completely dedicated to Kim. 

****

~Yum~ : a Romantic tale of star crossed lovers, reunited at last in a truly sensual way.

Who knows what was in the air that day, but something must have been. Because, unlike anyother day before Sarah woke up feeling a little different, infact, she felt A LOT different, she was lying in a bed of potatoes in fact.

"What the heck?" she tried to voice, but finding she had no lips she had to keep it to herself. And if she had had anything to hyperventilate with, she would have. But seriously, how many hyperventilating potatoes have you seen?

Now in a different part of town Marcus was getting ready for school. 

"Hey mom! Can we have stew for dinner?"

"Sure thing hun, now hurry up or you will miss the bus."

"Ok, bye Mom!"

"Bye Marcus!"

Now after a long bubble bath Mrs. Mantin got dressed and headed to the grocery store to buy supplies for the stew.

Jareth stretched, or rather tried to, something wasn't right. He tried to squirm a little to the right, and a little to the left, still nothing. He tried to conjour a crystal ball, but nothing happened. 

"What the, bloody blue moon!?" He could see a plastic wrap (how he did this I am not sure, since he lacked the eyes of a potato that Sarah had).

Suddenly he felt a hand grasp him firmly in the middle of his long hard length. (Oh no! This is so not one of those fics!) He was lifted out of the basket in which he had been propped, against all the other French Breads, yes, Jareth, King of the Goblins was a baguette. 

Sarah was tossed carelessly into a bag along with several other of her potato friends. It was sealed off and tossed into a shopping cart along with some apples, stew meat, green beans, and a baguette. After a bumpy ride through the the rest of the grocery store and a rough toss onto the conveyer belt and into yet another plastic bag, next to the greenbeans and apples, Jareth found himself in a mini-van, under normal circumstances he would have found this insulting, a Goblin King in a family vehichle? As if! However, now that he was basically full of porous air holes he didn't mind in the least.

The car stopped, all groceries were carried in and dumped on the kitchen table. Mrs.Mantin hummed to herself as she opened the bag of potatoes, pulling out the first one she ran it under some hot water and began to peel off its skin with a sharp, shiny, knife.

"Ohmyfriggingosh!" Sarah unsuccessfully tried to close all of her potato eyes, forgetting that while potatoes do have eyes, they do not have eyelids. 

Mrs.Mantin's warm wet hand closed around Sarah's lumpy brown form and shoved her under the running water. Sarah felt pieces of her being slowly peeled off, the running water taking the place of her tears.

"Hi Sweetie!" Mr.Mantin greeted as he came in, placing his breifcase on the floor. "Is there anything I can do to help with dinner?"

"Slice up the bread?"

"Sure thing." Mr.Mantin pulled out a long seraded knife and a wooden cutting board, he pulled the baguette out of the bag and placed it across the board.

"Dodedodedo," Jareth hummed to himself as a slicing pain cut him in half. "Dodedodedo," and so it continued until Jareth was only conscious of the very tip of what he had been, he was just the crust end of the baguette now. 

Sarah had been peeled and cubbed and put in boiling water, salted and peppered, and was now being ladeled along with the rest of the contents of the stew pot, into a bowl. 

"Dinner time Marcus!"

"Alright! Stew!"

A cold spoon lifted Sarah out of the bowl and into the air, warm, moist lips entranped her in a cavern of teeth, as she was chewed quickly to a pulp, in eager anticipation of the next bite. 

Jareth was ready to purr as the butter was slathered on his exposed end.

"Being food isn't so bad." His thought was cut short though, as a pair of teeth bit into his left side.

Down the esophegus and into the stomach, urged on by the peristalsis the little food bits, formerly known as Sarah and Jareth traveled. Churning and gurgling, the acid contained within the stomach lining stopped any other thought but, "OW!"

Into the small intestine, bumping and colliding, Sarah thought she heard some familiar sound behind her.

"Is there someone else here?" she thought.

"There is! Wait for me! I have had the worst day!" Sarah managed to get behind a particularaly slow moving bit of stew meat to allow the other thinking piece of food to catch up with her. 

"You know, you sound familiar."

"Come to think of it, you do to."

If they had still had jaws, they would have dropped, as it was it is pretty amazing they could still carry a conversation.

"You!" they said in unison.

"I, thought of you.'

"Me, too."

"If only we could have resolved our issues before becoming masticated food bits."

"If only"

The Peristalsis started again, as the two food bits snuggled closer. Into the large intestine, where they honeymooned, as well as food bits could, for a few hours. Then the Peristalsis reared its ugly head again.

"Oh no!"

"What my love?"

"This is the large intestine, and peristalsis, if I remember my biology right it means they honeymoon's overso is everything else."

The two food bits embraced, as best they could.

"Hold me!"

"I will never let you go!"

Marcus flushed the toilet and washed his hands. 


End file.
